I know you're a difficult person to please. You've expectations of everything. You take many things seriously. And, you play again and again in your head, what people said of you and to you.
You wish to stop these thoughts from coming. But you can't.
Those childhood memories keep flooding to you in your dreams. You dreamt about being looked down upon. You dreamt that you could hear what they were gossiping about, and it was all about you. You wondered how could they bear to say or joke about a kid. You were only a kid, you were only a teenager. What is there to compare about? You got frustrated. Why didn't your parents say anything? How could they allow people to say that you're stupid? How could they not shut them up? Thoughts like these still lingers and you cried.
You also dreamt about the lack of parental love. You dreamt that your parents are biased against you. You remembered your mom coming out from the shower and spanked you becaus…